~ Ode to my Snow Angel ~* (
You didn't catch me
memorizing the moment
the firelight's reflection
dancing in your eyes
the soft words
spoken only for me to hear
though we were completely alone
I would have built a fire
on the hottest august night
to see that sight
I made sure you caught me
writing your name each morning
in the fresh face of the snowbank
outside the cabin door
The blush in your cheek
as you giggled at me grinning
worried that my work
would make my fingers cold
I would have gladly gotten frostbite
in both my hands
to hear that sound
The universe knew it had lost
as you teased me
about being sleepy eyed
and we snuggled close
against the chill in the early morning air
as our lips met for the first time
like a thousand lives before
we knew in a quickened heartbeat
that forever is ours
and I would fight
till the end of time
to feel that kiss
{Dedicated to Beth: in the vague hope of
showing her just how special every moment with her is... Happy Valentine's Day
Angel}
~ Armor of Winter ~ {
Christened is this world
by a blanket of a new fallen snow
that wraps full and thick
to guard from chill
and hide my wayward secrets
Reborn here
despite the horror
new breath of white
ice laden eyes able to see
as the refraction allows clarity
to find shelter
here within the flakes of purity
Confessions of failing
freeze in midair
and fall to shatter
explode as fine crystal
on the hard face of judgment
reflecting a thousand angles
of hate and disgust
that no longer can harm
as the mist of winter
encloses me in an armor
that none can penetrate
~ Within, Behind, Despite ~* ( February
20th, 25th & 26th, 2000 )
Within the quiet
sound my many words
Present needs and wants
from my once unfeeling soul
Abandoned before expression
under your apprehensive eyes
Leaving me to speak
in the mouthed echo of silence
Left to listen and follow
as you guide me to be
she who I had always been
Though I know in my heart
I am no longer her
And that you
should no longer
have this right to lead
Behind the conversation,
I know you sense
that something is different
though you steer us away from it
and are happy to ignore
Too much has changed for you
in recent times
and you need me stagnant
fearful that if in metamorphosis
I will no longer be
your pillar of strength
your protector
though your choices
should take these roles from me
as the duty by tradition
is no longer mine
Despite all of it
I love you just as much
and cherish these times
of only you and me
though I am certain
one day you will push
to know, to understand
when your life is calm
and your focus
turns to me again
not in judgment
or inspection
but in worry and love
as your concern
is something that may seem to waiver
but I know will never fail me
{Original Version was only the first stanza
and called "Within"… felt unfinished though}
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~ Defining Factors ~ (March 29th, 2000)
Did I cry?
No
Did I yell and scream?
No
Hell, I didn’t even slice myself to ribbons
Surprise, Surprise
But please don’t misunderstand
I didn’t accept it either
Well not completely
I’ve just switched from the scars
And the pain
And the agony
To focusing on the future
To focusing on love
And new possibilities regardless of sickness
For the first time in my life I don’t define
myself
In earned degrees or in weeping wounds
But only in terms of what I want
And what I must do to get there
So that I might see myself reflected
In the beauty of her eyes
Everyday
Forever more
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~ Crossing The Cursed Ocean ~ (April 30th,
2000)
This body of salty waves
sits in a silent sentry
with unwavering attention
to its diabolical duty
to keep us apart
Separated
by walls of water
stacked in barricade
like living bricks
that ebb and tide
against our hearts
and remind of the distance
But even this behemoth
shall be transversed
in carefully counted
hours and minutes
As on wings of steel
I shall cross over
its icy grasping hands
that attempt to drag me down
into its cursed depths
shall be empty in failure
as I best its highest peak
and rejoin our hearts again
to love and live
our enemy defeated
~ Tears ~ (April 27th, 2000)
I could have cried
real tears tonight
And saved this mark
left barren knife
To mate with steel
a date I set
when salt was swallowed
and only left
a call to arms
a fire to burn
the sleepy one
to blink and turn
from oblivion's gaze
back out in sight
as pupils burn
dark sooty night
would cloud the view
and what will be
her hand degree
~ Anniversary Lament ~ (April 27th, 2000)
The Whitewolf's back
with muddy feet
to tread my soul
her prints so deep
She'll take the blood
and flesh tonight
it is her rightful
sacrifice
She slumbered once
but now awakes
to mark the day
and honour make
Oh nine long years
since one small day
did take security away
and now tonight
emotions rise
anniversary's ebb
and blood must tide
in sticky tears upon my cheek
the WhiteWolf walks
now none can sleep
~ Bribing Saints ~ (April 20th, 2000)
That which lifts
the weight I carry
so simple it would seem
that I wonder
if all these years
of burden and bondage
were only payment
my bribe for Saint Peter
that I might pass through
heaven's gate
and fall into your arms
~ Herald ~ (April 7th & 8th, 2000)
And as lightening splits
the dark hued skies
love came to me
in her sweet eyes
from heaven's gate
to my crippled heart
a sure true path
we together start
Reflected souls
did find despite
the oceans tide
and silenced night
A beacon pure
to guide the way
when doubting fog
choked lonely day
And as rocky shores
are lapped by foam
my thoughts to you
do always roam
they fill me up
to overflow
and all emotions
beg to show
I too can feel
this ache inside
and to its want
strongly abide
I too can hear
love's herald call
to learn to fly
not fear to fall
~ When asked ~ (April 1st, 2000)
Oh I could write a thousand poems
on how beautiful you are
How the sun wakes up each morning
just to kiss your the sleepy blushed cheek
and the moon comes each night
just to kiss the sparkle in your eyes
How the snow falls
in the hopes of landing on your skin
and melting in the radiance of your heart
How the rain falls from the heavens
leaving its lofty heights above
only to join you here on earth
and be close to where you are
How in acts of wonder and amazement
little kittens are born
to know your love and devotion
How the mystery of an angel's wings
is solved every time you sing
for the beauty of it inspires miracles
not only here on earth
but in the heavens as well
How the love in your heart
crosses the Atlantic a billion times a day
without ever tiring or growing weary of the
journey
How I know that with each trip
you spread an arc of smiles and grins across
the world
like the rainbow that you are
as your spirit passes on its way to me
and gives a little bit of happiness to
everyone below
How though your beautiful hands are small
they hold on tight and keep my heart safe
and oh how I wish each evening
I could kiss your fingertips good night
and not be left here to curse all these
things
for the time they spend with you
when I cannot
~ In-between ~ (Monday
and how do I exist?
living in a state of in-between
dreams in vivid reality
reality contrasts in stark deprivation
the will of the want
the need in the hunger
for the dream
for the horizon
and whatever lies beyond
and how do I survive?
the space between
this moment of loneliness
and the bliss of your arms
the temptation I will have
to kiss you blind
the second I lay eyes on you
and how can I relent?
give up, abandon
this heart that beats for you
a dream of you
so clear and true
that reality seems
dim and false
without you
and so I live the in-between
until we kiss again
~ Love’s Rain ~ (Monday,
The ground is rain soaked
glistening in my headlights
as I cut a path through murky night
Sweet petals fall
from a torrent of raindrops
as I pass to catch my eye
with flashes of sweet shine
Breaking the dark for a second
as visions of your face
birth beauty within my mind
Thick wind embraces
Sea, sky and flesh
As I watch drops slide through
the scene on my windshield
and I am left to wonder…
If I stood in the rain
let the wind bring the drops to my lips
Would I find the salty condensation of your
longing tears?
And for a precious moment
fill my body with
the feel of you,
the heat of you,
the love of you,
as I kiss the tears away
~ Piece of Tomorrow’s Promise~ By Tath
Vulpine
To wake from this dream of days
and find that all we though injustice
has sprung to peaceful conclusion
Content that love doth conquer all
and hate did die embarrassed.
To find I'd died in my lover's arms
only to awake with the dawn
of a fresh new kiss
and never to sleep lest reality return.
~ Piece of Sacred Devotion ~ By Aysha Drake
Once on gossamer wings of angels,
I was lifted up to watch my sleeping form,
and love anew filled my heart,
When I observed clutched in my hand,
a promise of the morn,
and though I slumbered I knew that forever
I was held by love so true
The demons around me were no smaller,
and the worries on my head no lighter,
but the hope in my heart blazed bright and
true
For I held a promise from you
^^^^^^
~ Thirteen Days from Now… ~ (
You will be with me again
here in my arms
a new clarity in our eyes
as we allow once hidden looks
the freedom of not only birth
but added maturation
give voice to whispers
we once only let the lonely night wind know
when the other was away
express ourselves
in the ancient wordless language of desire
the timeless dance of passion
the single blinding light of our eternal
love
splitting through conventions clouds
and breaking in the misty morning
a pure rainbow
in testament
^^^^^^
~ Initiation ~ (
Eyes lock
warm months run dry in anticipation
as the electric charge in the air
builds with each step you take nearer
the soft melody of your voiced greeting
pulls me in closer
the need to touch to great to deny
as my shaking hands cup the reverence
of your face
A short breath
all that passes between us in the time
it takes my mouth to reach yours
as I taste the honeysuckle sweetness
that awaits me
this taste has haunted my dreams
and branded my skin
readied me for this moment
I am yours to truly conquer
and it all begins
with this one kiss
^^^^^
~ First Law of Us ~ (
To quantify
this electricity between us
the charge that fills the air
making it crackle and hum
simply because we are close
Begin with the dance of electrons
perfect rhythm held by two conduit souls
as current flows in harmony
lines of conduction are enabled
by the press of flesh to flesh
exponentially increased by the fluid desire
that seeps lovingly into the equation
Core temperature rising steadily
as potential is pushed past critical
threshold
and tumbles into living kinetic expression
follow explosions of radiated heat
into shockwaves of amplified release
But even as exothermic expression dims
the dance begins again
sweet calculated fusion
the perpetual motion of pure love
completion
oneness with you
Ten Days To Go.
Panic Panic panic
Too many shoes, not enough socks
Do I need a wash bag?
A toothbrush, an alarm clock?
With ten days to go
I have the time to think
About what to pack
Including maybe the sink
I will rewrite the list
A hundred times or more
But I know none of it will matter
When I'm stood at your door
There's ten days to go
Such excitement, such bliss
I wonder what we'll do first -
Wasn't there something about a kiss.......
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The first time.
The first time we made love
A star’s
brightness paled
To the sparkle in your eyes
I watched heat
rise off our skin
In fevered
plumes
Saw love itself
drip off your lips
To feed my
release
The first time
we made love
The sun’s
majesty bowed
To the power of
our bonding
And I realized
completeness
In devoted
reverence
As I worshipped
at your feet
Seeking the
reward of yours
The first time
we made love
The universe
watched puzzled
As time stood
still
To mark this
life chapter
In our eternal
legacy
Heartbeats
synchronized in reflected souls
As we lie entangled together
_____________________________________________
~ My Lament ~
Oh why
Must I curl at night
With books instead of you
Words of love and longing
To arch empty in my ears
Oh why
Must I gather
In cool sheets that contrast
Stark against my flush skin
That floods with memories
Oh why
Must I close my eyes
To catch a glimpse of beauty
The tip of your chin
As a smile breaks your face
And seals me with tears of want
Oh why
Must I find the strength to resolve
To this necessary separation
When like a child I am weak
And would cling to you wailing
Oh why
Must the dawn come
And we still be apart?
~ Chalice ~
Tonight I baptize
In the purity of my desire
Embrace the doctrine of love
With all its sacrifice
Crucify me now in molten stone
Lay thick thorns upon my brow
Bleed me here in my conviction
Tempt me with sweet fruit and wine
Flaunt to me the virtues of sin
And as I perish
Bring a chalice to my chin
So the tears that dip
Through the corners of my lips
Can nourish my love with devoted kisses
And she will know
Temptation did not find refuge
In my heart
~ That Night ~
And that night the sky was quite
While I cried alone
Selfish tears not for the dead
Or the lost or the injured
But for myself
That something could imprison me
Bind me to this native land
So much that my feet sank into
The earth unmovable
That something could separate us
Not just in body but in opportunity
Make invalid my right to the world
And with the world
My only want within it
That here in my land of
Maple trees and tolerance
Hate could kidnap me
And never might
I taste your lips again
~ Captive ~
A beg of you
Bring sweetness
to me
My lips sit dried
and cracked
Within the
shallows of my cheeks
Begging substance
return
Let teeth and
tongue again devour
The never fallow
harvest of our love
I pray of you
Just one small
morsel
To fill my empty wanting mouth
Melt down my
parched throat
As I inspire to
gluttony’s sin
Within my
favorite meal of you
I beseech you
Give me freedom
to worship
At loves parted
altar
Leave me write
psalms with my tongue
And gospels with
my lips
Anoint my hands
in blessed oils
Then take me in
your arms
And whisper
sweetly
For at that
moment
I am free
~ Instructions ~
Walk me to the door
Do not let us part hands
Until it cannot be helped
Kiss me hard
Breathe in while you do
As if to capture me again
Remind me that I am yours
Mind and body
Then send me on my way
With confidence
So I know in my heart
Loneliness will not last
Cause you are waiting impatiently
For me to come home
~ Journey ~
A shake in your fingers
I first thought fear
Clears to show only reverence
Heavy Lidded with unspoken want
I watch you wrestle with the query
Of just how you arrived here
In this moment with me
That I do not think you anticipated
But know as well
You will fight to maintain
Unsure and questioning
Is not how many get to see you
Classified the emotions I see now
And though you see the opposite
I love you more
And not less for them
Here within this place of us
I am familiar to emotion and expression
Watching a struggle within you
I know too well
And with your precious vulnerability
I feel whole and cherished
Strong enough to lead shaking fingers
To my skin
And bring an amazed smile
To your face
Love
I open my eyes, amazed by what I see before me
the splendour and glory of a love
that leads me through the dark of the past
to a beacon within your heart
a throb of love that beats only for me
in a rhythm matched deep within my own form
Mystery reveals itself
and my knowledge of faith love and hope
becomes infinite as I bring myself to the edge of you
and hesitate to whisper worship on the heart of you
before I immerse myself within
___________________________________
~ Fulfillment ~ (May9th, 2000)
This is all new to me
In so many ways
My heart as it quickens
My head as it sways
To touch you so simply
Your arm or your back
My hand clasped in your hand
I know now the lack
That existed before
In all of their arms
Filled now in an instant
By one woman’s charms
By this woman’s charms
As she sets me on fire
Ignites passions inside
And gives breathe to desire
A call to the heaven’s
From my place next to her
I surrender, I’m beaten
And my body is sure
As anticipation is ended
And her lips press to mine
That forever lies with her
All my shivers a sign
This is where I belong
Soul body and mind
here bathed in our love’s heat
Complete fulfillment I find
^^^^^
~ Do You? ~ (May 9th, 2000)
Do you feel my heart pounding?
Do you feel my blood coarse?
I feel like I’m dying
Oh wait… this is worse
Not dying but falling
Into your sweet embrace
Not fighting my reactions
Not controlling this pace
But I don’t dare to do that
My body rebels
It craves your caresses
Passion’s kiss rules my world
I’m falling, not thinking
My mind is consumed
With feeling and loving
Control’s rule is doomed
Oh please keep me falling
I’m happy to go
My soul’s waited so long
To find yours and know
That our hands fit together
As our lips and our fire
I want you, I love you
Do you feel my desire?
^^^^^^^
~ Closer, Closer ~ (May 9th, 2000)
Closer, Closer
Heat rises off skin
In waves to brand
Even before we touch
Closer, Closer
My vision cloudy
From desires plume
As we move unconsciously
Closer, Closer
Molding together
As puzzle pieces
Always meant to fit
But never before tried
Closer, Closer
Tongue moistened lips
On cheeks
Purposed hands slip under shirts
In search of skin
And hesitation melts away
Closer, Closer
Lips on lips
Soft and tentative
Short meetings
And reluctant partings
Soon opened slightly
As bodies strive to somehow
Get closer, closer
Mouths fully open
To fevered exploration
As safe loving arms
Hold closer, closer
^^^^^^
In the past
my body responded
to the touch of a man
mind’s locked control
and guided hand
No freedom found
No passions soar
I could walk away
In the middle of the chore
A time to purge
To stop all claim
Leave barren lips
Desires caged
And I began
To know myself
In staggered steps
As years enveloped
When my mind did clear
I realized
I saw my wants
In your dear eyes
Though some might question
My confidence
When there is much
I’ve not been shown
Exists a touch
That I’ve not known
The truth is easy
Everyone
I’ve kissed her now
the truth is ours