The darkness of my Soul

As a child I had listened to the preacher at the church

He told us of the evil that in this world there lurks

He told us of the pain and corruption it would bring

He told us of the pawns that would help, the evil battle to win.

He told us of the demons sent to torment the good

The lies they told, the power they hold, destroy them all we should.

The years passed by for the child I was, and lessons they were learned

About love, pain and emptiness, about being bad and what it earned.

It struck me then, was I a demon, for I had caused such pain?

I had tempted an innocent man - caused him never to be the same

I had taken that kind and gentle soul, twisted it creating a storm

So perhaps I was a demon just wrapped in human form.

As a child I could not understand the power within me

But as an adult it is my duty never to set that darkness free.

There exists you see a darkness, a blackness within me

That swallows the good from people and turns it so it will be -

Unrecognisable to the giver and painful to my heart

But I do not flinch from the agony as it helps me remember my part.

My part in the creation of monsters, my part in pulling their strings

My part in helping them create their pains I give them demon wings

If at nine I was so powerful that I could cause a man to fall

I worry for the future and ask "Should I exist at all?"

And so now I am an adult, I cannot let this darkness out

I have to stand away from you, for you do not know what it's about

I cannot let this darkness buried in my soul to win

So instead I'll let it devour me, bury it with me and my sin.

When he died he said "I'm sorry for all the things I;ve done"

Even then he didn't realise that I was the guilty one

I try so hard to be a light, but I fear it's of no use at all.

I try to love tocare to heal so why do I always fall?

I feel I'm in the greatest pit, down the murkiest hole

But now and then I just realise I'm living with:-

Tthe darkness of my soul.

Blurred

I used to think the world was defined

Right and wrong

Good and bad

Truth and lies

but now as I grow older

More tired

More cynical

I can see that

Like my vision

The lines on life are fading

losing their contrasts

becoming blurred.

I can get glasses to help my eyes

What do I use to help the world?

Watch

I love watching the world

Sitting in a bar

drinking beer

Smiling here

waving there

But really I 'm just watching

Watching the world go by

I look at the faces

Of strangers I will never know

And I wonder

Do they ever

Just watch

Watch the world going by

I have lived a life

this life

And I have learned so much

But most of all

I have learned to watch

Learned to watch the world go by

This life has taught me to be strong

forced me to be weak

held me up so high

And pulled me to the ground

Where all you can do is watch

Watch the world go by

This life has taught me pain and love

trust and betrayal

Agony and ectasy

Deep centred fear

When you simply can't watch any more

watch the world go by.

But this life has given me the gift again

The gift of your smile

The warmth of your arms

And the greatest simplist pleasure

The pleasure of watching you

Watching you in the world as it goes by.

Snow

I have never seen a single sight

That took my breath away

Faster

Easier

More completely

More eloquently

That the sight of snow in your hair

on your gloves,

in your eyes

On your boots.

My snow angel

My dream come true.

Lost

For the first time as I approach you

I find my footsteps falter

My heart sinks into my stomach

My pulse quickens

And my throat constricts.

Will you still talk to me

Will you still laugh with me

Will you still hold me

Will you still kiss me?

Or has the poison in my soul

The Darkness in side me

Destroyed something else

Tainted something so perfect.

I will not know the answer

Until you hold me once again

And whisper in my ear

The words only you can say.

Love

Love hurts

I hurt you.

Love wounds

I wounded you.

Love blinds

I blinded you.

Love scars

I scarred you.

Love loses

I lost you.

But my love,

How I loved you.

Please.

Listen, please listen

I don't talk often,

I can't

But please just listen

For I cannot let this be.

You are not my protector

That role belongs to another

You are my friend,

Who I love.

Who I trust.

You listen to me,

I have tried not to ask you anything

for I do not want you to fail.

Instead I want to be with you

To smile at the flowers

And to watch the world with wonder.

Perhaps in time you will buy my balloons

And take me to the forest,

In saftey

In love

In union.

I have another,

Whos job it is to protect me,

To keep me safe.

And though she fails, I would ask it of no other.

All I ask of you is love me

Don't lie to me

Don't let me change you

Don't leave me

And perhaps one day,

Buy me a balloon.

 Crazy

Its crazy but sometimes

When I read the words you write

I can hear my heart saying them

And I know that we are right

It's crazy but sometimes,

When our hearts and hands entwine

I know that I have loved you

Since the dawning of all time

And even though you're far away

In time, in space, in miles

Our hearts will grow together

Our laughter and our smiles

Will join together once again

And will not be torn apart

For I know that I share with you

A creative writers heart.

It's crazy when we battle

Different enemies different foes

Some how we're joined together

Somehow the other knows

It's crazy that we fight so hard

Yet somehow we make it through

And it's crazy maybe to think this

But I owe so much to you

And even though you're far away

In time, in space, in miles

Our hearts will grow together

Our laughter and our smiles

Will join together once again

And will not be torn apart

For I know that I share with you

A humble warriors heart.

It's crazy - though they've never met

How our lips would fit I know

And how our hearts would burn together

As love and passion grow

It's crazy 'cause I know the fact

That this time round we might never be

But I also know that won't change a thing

i love you and you love me.

And even though you're far away

In time, in space, in miles

Our hearts will grow together

Our laughter and our smiles

Will join together once again

And will not be torn apart

For I know that I share with you

A eternal lovers heart.

It's crazy as I close my eyes

Dreams of you and dreams of snow

The fear and anguish melt away

ANd my heart and soul they know

It's crazy as we come together

On our day just you and me

I know that there will be joy in the heavens

For once again - together the lock and key.

And even though you're far away

In time, in space, in miles

Our hearts will grow together

Our laughter and our smiles

Will join together once again

And will not be torn apart

For I know that I share with you

A love that has no end - it had no start.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Love

There is a moment in time that is etched,

On both the heart and the soul in unison,

A moment that nothing and no one can erase,

That remains unspoiled no matter what the war.

Every time we make love there is a moment,

An etching within my soul

A writing down of delight indescribable

Of fulfilment only dreamed of before

When you hands touch my breasts,

Like a pen to the paper

The mark on my spirit begins

Then as you entice, explore and arouse

The calligraphy marks out the word

When your mouth and your tongue explore me

The ink changes colour and style

When I feel you inside,

The pen scribes anew

When my passion over flows

The last pen stroke records the moment

And when you hold me in the afterglow

It is underlined

And then forever I can look back

At the moments inscribed on my soul

And time after time I can recall with wonder

Your name, Your love, - and I am whole.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~ Linger ~

Caress me once more before I leave this place

Rest your lips upon my weary brow

Let fingertips drift over pale skin

Let me remember the fire of our embrace

You may recall the look of wonder in my eye

the taste of tears dwell on your lips

Mixed with the exotic spices left there

To last only as long as the winter sun.

~ The Truth ~

Hold me

Kiss me

Have we done this before?

Fumbling

Rushing

Hands at the door

Twisting

Tumbling

Crashing to the floor

Breathless

Excited

Knowing what's in store

Aching

Longing

I feel like a whore.

~ Climber ~ 

climbing like ivy over my skin

your finger tips hold and reach right in

beneath my defences beyond all my walls

You silence the thunder, deafen the calls

Trembling and shaking in love you caress

Soften my anger, soothe my distress

Undress me with eyes of light summer blue

And softly and surely draw me deeper to you

With tongues and fingers touch each jewel we possess

I can finally let go and embrace true happiness.

 ~ SEX ~

You think this is easy?

This thing that we do?

You think as I lay myself open to you

The memories in technicolour

Don't explode in my head

And as we lay down together

I wish I were dead.

Better to be dead than to again feel this pain

My head repeats the age-old refrain

And no matter how different your eyes

or your smile

Your touch is familiar all of the while.

~ Tones of Want ~

Whispering

kiss me

Demanding

Now?

Whispering

love me

Demanding

How?

Whispering

With your body

Laughing

And my heart?

Whispering

Maybe later

Your body's a good start.

~ Seasons Of The Heart ~

Are clouds as soft as your skin on my lips?

Are they as light as your body on mine?

Would they carry me away as your eyes do

To a place where only you and I exist.

Let me kiss you again

Let me love you anew

Let our souls merge together as one

At the break of the dawn

With the crisp winters breeze

You can lie in my arms, we have won.

Can the sun feel as hot as our passion tonight

Is it blistering and burning my heart

Can it shine on forever, bringing light to our love

Blessing our lives and our song

Let me kiss you again

Let me love you anew

Let our souls merge together as one

At the break of the dawn

With the stiff spring time breeze

You can lie in my arms, we have won.

Does the rain fall as softly as our love in its height

Does it refresh as one drink from you can?

Will the rain hide our tears and cover our shame

Will it rain forever after we've gone?

Let me kiss you again

Let me love you anew

Let our souls merge together as one

At the break of the dawn

With the chill autumn breeze

You can lie in my arms, we have won.

Does the snow feel as cold as my heart when you’re gone

Does its chill match the frost in my soul?

Will its deep powder cover the holes and the scars

And will your return thaw the drifts and make me whole?

Let me kiss you again

Let me love you anew

Let our souls merge together as one

At the break of the dawn

With the crisp winters breeze

You can lie in my arms, we have won.

~ First Kiss ~

I remember the first kiss that e'er grace these lips

The heat

The passion

The fire inside

I remember the tongue that encircled these lips

The wetness

The sweetness

The desire

And if these lips could, they would whisper

Kiss me again.

~ Insatiable ~

I know every inch of you

Each line, each shape

Each rise and fall of your skin

I know its scent

I know its texture

Yet still I love to explore

Discovering you anew

touching,

Tasting,

How I long to feast again.

~ Apple Blossom ~

The memory of our love lingers

Like apple blossom on a spring evening

heavy in the air

Yet indiscernible to the world

And like apple blossom

As the harvester knows

This is only the first promise

Of the great treasure to come

~ Ode To A Woman ~

There's something about a woman

The softness and the warmth

Smooth skin and passionate heart

Yes there is something incredible about a woman

That reels you in and holds you down

Keeping you entranced forever

The way they move the way they love

There is something about a woman

That leaves me breathless, restless

And hungry for more.

~ Peaks Promise ~

Deeper inside me

Your heat

Your body

Touching within with a tenderness unknown

Breathing fast

Deep and hard

With torrid emotions and flames of passion

I am now and forever

Your lover your friend

May our love last forever

And the passion never end

~ Love’s Healing Touch ~

Watching you sleep

Our bodies still hot

The sheets messed and bunched

My stomach in knots

The tingling and sparks

Still alive in my brain

Your heart’s beating more slowly

Though traces remain

The blush to your cheeks

The sweat on your brow

Makes my body remember

The where’s and the how

The moments we share in tender embrace

Puts the trouble and heartaches away in their place

And makes me feel with conviction anew

That we'll always be together, and how I love you.

~ Watching You Sleep ~ 

If I can lie very still

For just a few minutes more

Perhaps the aching will ease

If I empty my mind

And fix my eyes some place else

Then maybe this heat will appease

Though somehow I am drawn

Like a moth to a light

Just to look at your face in the dawn

To trace your lips with my eyes

And your body with my mind

Reflect on how lucky to be born

Unbidden I remember the feel of your arms

The warmth and the fire they brought

A warmth remembered from lives long before

The taste of your lips on my mouth and tongue

The feel of your skin and your hair

Is it wrong after such time to want more?

But I lay and I watch

The simple rise and the fall

Of your chest from the covers on top

And my soul can dream on

With imagination refreshed

When the physical adventure must stop.

~ Silent Wondering ~

Did you feel my heart quicken

Did you feel the sudden heat

Did you move against my body

My desires to meet

Or did I imagine the speed of my heart

Did my temperature stay low and cool

Did we lay side by side impassive and still

Tell me now so I don't play the fool

If responses imagined were real I would know

Of it were true I would have strength anew

And if things were just different who knows what would be

And we would share our love ever true.

~ Offering ~

Hold me

Kiss me

Fill me

Love me

Make the heavens merge with the sky

In your eyes

Make me yours

Now

And forever

Pierce my body

And my soul

For never again will I be as I am now.

~ Honey ~

Honey?

Sweeter than even this

The nectar I drink from your

Heavenly lips

With each long draw over

Soft flesh with my tongue

I get taken back to a place

Where I have always belonged

~ Dear God ~

What god in his heaven

Decided out fate

Decreed we were wrong

In the choices we make

His arms have never held you then

Else the decision would be changed

The texture of your fragrant skin

Is this deity deranged?

I can only assume he has not felt

The trembling inside

The ecstasy and flood

Released in unchecked tide

He cannot have felt the desire

To suckle, kneed and caress

The gentle swell of forbidden flesh

Your perfect, enchanting breasts

This deity I proclaim is wrong

To preach our love and desire are wrong

He cannot have ever heard

A woman’s voice in releasing song

If I tried I could not stop my love

Nor quell it's burning tide

And for the records sake Dear God

I have never even tried.

~ United ~

Trembling fingers touch your skin

Finally deciding to let passion win

Lower, Lower still touching stomach, touching thighs

Led on by the glow in your deep wanton eyes

Stroking and smoothing over pale satin soft skin

Reaching your secret place, my head starts to spin

First one finger stroking then two lightly press

Head ruling go slowly body insisting now, yes….

Sliding inside you, such wonder such bliss

No feeling on earth prepared me for this.

I love you, I love you, with all of my heart

Stay with me forever love, I never want to part.

I'll linger inside you a few minutes more

Then I'll move a little darling - show you what tongues are for

Our love and our life together has begun

And I know now as I have forever together we are one.

~ Let’s Make Love ~

Lustful

Evocative

Tender

Sexual

Marvellous

Adorable

Kissable

Exotic

Luscious

Orgasmic

Vocal

Emma

~ A Woman’s Love ~

I am not a man

And I cannot love you like they do

I can love in my way

I can kiss you

Hold you

Thrill you

But I cannot do it their way.

With one touch they can set your heart dancing

I can do that

Though it won't feel the same

They can kiss you hard, fast and hungry

I can do that and love so true

They can fill you and pleasure you

Things I can do - but it will never be like it was with them

I have all my love to give you

I would treat you with the love and care you deserve

Worship you and love you, fulfil your every desire

But I cannot do it their way

I can only do it my way

My way

A woman’s way

With all the limitations I possess

And so,

I ask you

Do you want my love?